How To Free Yourself From Stress By Making One Simple Choice
Stress is a global phenomenon these days and it plays huge amounts of havoc with our lives. I remember back in my early corporate career and genuinely believing that to survive I would have to develop the skill of stress management.
The statistics are shocking …
- 75% of adults reported experiencing moderate to high levels of stress in the past month and nearly half reported that their stress has increased in the past year – American Psychological Association.
- 91% of adult Australians feel stress in at least one important area of their lives. Almost 50% feel very stressed about one part of their life - Lifeline Australia
- Approximately 13.7 million working days are lost each year in the UK as a result of work-related illness at a cost of £28.3 billion per year – National Institute for Health and Clinical Excellence
Stress is defined as “a state of mental or emotional strain or tension resulting from adverse or demanding circumstances.” When that strain or tension becomes too much or goes on too long, it starts to interfere with our ability to live a normal life. Just as an elastic band will weaken and eventually snap under too much tension, stress weakens us, makes us feel tired, unable to concentrate, irritable and often unwell. Eventually, like the elastic band, we snap.
So what can we do to get rid of it?
It’s a huge question and there are many, many answers. One of the best things we can do, I think, is focus on preventing it happening in the first place.
I would like to suggest that in any situation we find ourselves facing, there are basically only 2 strategies we can adopt. Which strategy we pick will determine whether or not the situation will become stressful for us.
How we react and feel about life events eventually all comes down to 2 strategies.
One strategy is LOVE and the other is FEAR.
When we react to a situation from the position of LOVE, then we can expect to feel light, upbeat and positive – even in difficult situations. We experience feelings of understanding, compassion, excitement and joy and NO STRESS.
Whereas when we react from the position of FEAR we are likely to feel heavy, dark and negative. This time we feel sad, disappointed, frustrated, tired and demotivated. It’s no surprise therefore that stress is associated with FEAR.
The fact of the matter is that stress cannot survive with LOVE. The two things are mutually exclusive.
I don’t know about you, but that sounds a pretty amazing thought to me!
(NB There is one exception here, which is the positive FEAR reaction – the one that we need when a tiger is ready to pounce on us. This fear generates the fight, flight response which with tigers is a very good thing!).
No-one can make us feel stressed.
Now let’s turn to another interesting thought. The only person that can make us stressed out is US!
Stress is not something that a person does to another. It is a reaction we create ourselves caused by the way in which we think about our situation. We can choose to react to the situations we face in life either with LOVE or with FEAR. It is all up to us. We are all responsible for how we think and feel. The choice is ours.
Yes it is a revelation, isn’t it? How many times do we blame someone else for our stress. That guy driving on my tail-lights or that woman driver causing havoc! The boss giving me an overload of work or the kids misbehaving and causing me grief …
If we want to avoid stress we can CHOOSE to react from a position of love rather than fear.
Once we realise that we have a choice, that we have a say, we become immensely powerful, we re-take control of our lives and we can conquer stress. It’s the number 1 choice to make for stress-free living.
And there’s more …
LOVE always dissolves FEAR so if you can manage to think even one love-based thought about your situation, then it will dissolve some of your fears. Yes, wow! What another wonderful thought. Keep doing it, and eventually you will be able to dissolve all your fears and discover the whole new world of stress-free living.
A Challenge for you
Are you ready for a little challenge? Okay then here you go!
Next time you feel a stressful situation in front of you, stop for a moment and consider the thoughts that are going through your mind. Are these thoughts fear-based or love-based? Remember that all thoughts can be changed! If FEAR is taking over then catch yourself, choose to think differently and respond from the position of LOVE.
To help you get going, here’s a few examples.
Do you feel obligated to do something you think you should (fear)? Or are you choosing to do it because you want to (love)?
Are you imagining the worst will happen with this situation (fear)? Or are you able to see what good can come from it (love)?
Do you think of this thing as a problem ie something that is wrong that needs to be fixed (fear)? Or is it an opportunity to bring about some good for yourself or others (love)?
Are you worrying about what others will think of you, how you will look or what they might say (fear)? Or are you able to be true to yourself and be/do/say it your own, uniquely awesome way (love)?
Are you taking action because you don’t have enough of something – usually time, money or possessions (fear)? Or are you grateful for what you have and open to receiving more and more of it (love)?
Are you hanging onto past hurts for dear life, replaying them over and over, worried it will happen again (fear)? Or can you remember the good bits, be willing to let the bad bits go and move forward (love)?
There are many other questions you can ask yourself, but the ultimate question always has to be this one.
“How can I respond to this situation with love rather than fear?